Recipe: Rice

“Wait … what? There’s a recipe for rice?? I just throw the stuff in the rice cooker, hit the button, then go do my nails.”

Ummm, no, that’s just not right …

Look, this is really simple. Those Asian rice cookers are totally unnecessary except for collecting dust. To me, they’re like cooking popcorn in the microwave … you do it because it’s easy. Then, when you have real popcorn, you think to yourself, “What the hey … this actually tastes good!”

Get yourself some real rice. Not that Uncle Ben’s stuff or that Minute Rice. Get some Riceland in a clear plastic bag, or any version of a real Asian rice at your local oriental grocery. Ok, fine … the Riceland stuff is at Kroger or Meijer or wherever …

In a pot that has a close-fitting lid, combine 1 part rice to 2 parts water, mixing them well with a fork. Leaving the lid off, bring this to a boil, then turn the heat down a bit so there’s a good rolling simmer going. Stir it on occasion, but not too much, just enough to keep things moving. When about half of the water has been absorbed and you can start seeing small craters in the top of the rice, stir it one last time with the fork, pop the lid on the pot, remove it from the heat and walk away. Oh, and turn that burner off.

Don’t touch the covered pot for, like, 10 minutes. No, really, don’t touch it.

At the end of those 10 minutes, open it up and fluff the rice with a fork. Add salt if you’d like. It’s good that way.

Rice cooker? “Aye don’ need no steenkink rice cooker!”

That’s right. And neither do you.