Real Oatmeal: There’s Nothing Better


This morning’s bowls of real oatmeal, with dark brown sugar and dried cranberries. I like a couple pats of unsalted butter on mine while Mary likes a little more dark brown sugar. The coffee mug, from Haloburger, shows the Vernors mural that is on the side of the old Peerless building alongside Haloburger #2 in downtown Flint. (Click on the pic for a larger version.)

Just call me Wilford Brimley. (BTW, here’s 5 cats that look like Wilford Brimley.)

For a long time I was a firm believer that Quaker Instant Oatmeal was somehow on-par with their own Old-Fashioned Oats. While the instant variety certainly wins out where convenience and time-constraints are concerned, there’s absolutely no match for the real thing, be it Quaker or some other brand.

If a child or teen comes in from playing in the snow, and there’s a slew of kids who stayed outside, if the kid wants a quick bowl of the instant stuff (strawberry-n-cream?), I can knock that out in a little over a minute. The kid wants and needs comfort almost immediately, and I’ll certainly oblige them. But ten minutes prior to the rest of the group coming inside, I’ll start a batch of the real thing for the rest of the tribe outside. The comfort level is very similar, but the texture of real oatmeal cooked correctly, along with the better level of nutrients, is simply unmatched. Add some sliced fresh strawberries and heavy cream, and even the kid who had the instant stuff earlier will ask for some of the better stuff.

Long-time readers will know Mary gets coffee in bed in the morning 99.9% of the time. We rarely don’t do this and when it doesn’t happen for whatever reason, we seriously miss it and the rest of the day just isn’t the same. Sometimes on the weekends she also gets breakfast in bed. The bowls in the above pic are from this morning just before I carried them upstairs. Some dark brown sugar, a couple pats of unsalted butter for me, and some dried Michigan cranberries from Pic-A-Nut in Warren, Michigan. This is our favorite way to have oatmeal, even though Mary also likes a good Banana Oatmeal Creme Brulée. (Take the recipe in that link and add sliced bananas between the oatmeal and the custard.) She was able to enjoy this dish at the Solaris Restaurant at Marriott World Center in Orlando, and I have yet to be able to match it.

So yes, we love oatmeal. I’ve told the following story before, but it’s a fun story so I’ll tell it again. It just wasn’t a whole lot of fun when it happened …

Back in 1979, I was working in the kitchen at what was then Camp Martin Johnson in Irons, Michigan. One Sunday morning, the lead cook got the idea to serve oatmeal to the campers who wanted it. We got it all set up in the 10-gallon bowl steamer off to the side of the kitchen, got it going on a slow cook … and promptly forgot about it.

We served breakfast, got everything cleaned up, and went into making lunch. Lunch came and went, with over a hundred satisfied campers and staff, and we got all that cleaned up. We then started serving dinner … which is when one of the prep cooks asked, “Hey, why is the steamer hot? And what’s that smell??

That’s how slowly the steamer had cooked the oatmeal. It had crawlingly dried out during the day, had become pungent, and the vapors were just then beginning to leak from the edges of the lid. We made the mistake of opening it indoors at first … and everyone started gagging.

The cook and I hefted the bowl off the steamer and manhandled it down the stairs and out the door. Over by the Dumpster, we set it down, pulled the lid … and gagged some more. We grabbed the handles, got under it, hefted it to our shoulders, heaved it over the edge of the Dumpster … and that’s when the cook slipped.

Before we knew it, rancid over-cooked oatmeal was everywhere, including on us. We stood there, gagging, laughing, and gagging some more. It served us right to be wearing the stuff. After we stopped cracking up, we grabbed a couple shovels and shoveled the stuff from the ground into the Dumpster. It took two washings to get the steamer’s stainless steel bowl cleaned, and we both had to throw our shirts away because of the permanent stench.

I love oatmeal, as does Mary, especially when it’s cooked correctly and has that wonderful texture and flavor.

I just don’t like to wear it.

4 Comments

Add a Comment
  1. Have you tried Irish oatmeal? I had it for the first time this summer and loved it. It has a nuttier flavor and chewier texture. Good stuff! (Though your bowls of Quaker Oats look yummy as well!)

  2. @Rebecca I’ve been more than meaning to! I see cans of it in a lot of stores. One of these days I’m going to break down and get one. What do you put on yours, if anything?

  3. I usually have it with just butter. I might try mixing in dried cranberries and nuts next time for a change of pace.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *